Unauthorized to Have an Opinion

“So, what did you think?” is one of my least favorite things to hear. It’s up there along with, “No offense, but…” “I told you so,” and…my morning alarm. Why do I hate this phrase so much? Because I truly don’t know how to answer. People always say there’s no right or wrong answer to a question that simply asks for your opinion. But I’ve noticed that’s not always the case. I grew up surrounded by people who, whatever they did, they were very good at it. As a result, I learned that sometimes giving a “wrong” answer to an opinion question causes more damage than answering incorrectly to a question that has a distinct right answer. 

One thing I’ve noticed about many opinion questions is that they give the people answering an opportunity to demonstrate their depth of knowledge on the issue in question. This is precisely why I hate being asked to share my opinions, especially about art. There is nothing more terrifying than being asked by a filmmaker what I thought of a movie or asked by a musician what I thought of a symphony. As soon as they ask the question, I forget everything I just saw or heard. Instead, I zone in on my interrogators. It becomes a game of guesswork: what did they think?

If I call the video entertaining, captivating, and enjoyable, but my asker thought it was dull, predictable, and incongruent, I’m perceived as an uncultured plebeian. If I say the piece was beautiful, rich, and brilliant, but my questioner heard a repetitive, flat, and lifeless din, I immediately become the girl with poor tastes. But worst of all, if I give a neutral and pleasant, but indifferent answer so as to not offend, either way, I am judged for my inability to formulate a thoughtful response, and pitied for my lack of exposure in the world of the arts.

You may think it's okay to disagree; no one has the right to be upset at someone who simply has a different opinion! To an extent, this is true. But in these cases, you must be able to defend your conclusion. To have an opinion at all requires a fair amount of knowledge on the topic to begin with. Some make judgments without any knowledge, but, to me, those opinions are void and useless. To offer a valuable opinion, I have to know other things about the topic. I have to have a standard to which I can compare it; guidelines against which to contrast it. If I have an opinion and cannot defend it or present any reasons for it, I should not hold it. 

So, I hope you can accept that, at times, “I liked it,” is the most accurate response I can give, not because my vocabulary is too limited, but because I simply did not notice anything outstandingly awesome or awful. So no, I did not notice the sloppy cut or off-key instrument. Should I have? Maybe. But I didn’t, and that is not because I’m an unrefined amateur or unsophisticated dilettante. Rather, it is because my interest lies in other areas and my expertise in other fields. 

Perhaps, by acknowledging my inexperience, an “I don’t know” is the most respectful answer I can give. But instead of criticizing me, educate me. Tell me what I should appreciate and teach me how to critique. Then, maybe next time, I can give my own insightful answer. But for now, in every sense, I am unauthorized to have an opinion.